A few point I would like to bring up. 1 Angles don't have genitals, trust me it's relevant. 2 Mary was impregnated via ear, because GOD used to just love showing off. 3 GOD sent someone else to do this, because he's a lazy showoff.
This means that Jesus is the product of on of GOD's friends giving someone a wet willy. Here, of all places, you'd think it'd at least be a literal wet 'willy', but no.
My question is this: how is Jesus even remotely holy now? Was the spit divine? Did god lick the angels finger before he went down to earth? Last but not least, what did Joseph have to say about this? Suddenly, his wife is cheating on him, he can't kick the guy in his nads because of simple absence, and he has to share a bed with a virgin that he's married to, chastely, because God will kill(or worse) him if he has sex, because it would be less dramatic if she gave birth after having sex.
I'm not sure who I feel worse for: Joseph, the blue-balled; Mary, the pregnant virgin who has trouble hearing things to the left now; or the angel, who doesn't have genitals.
3 comments:
TFF! Where did you come across the angel's wet-finger of procreation concept? This is very cool indeed. Some deities reproduce by jumping --fully grown, mind you --from their Dad's forehead! Talk about a migraine. Some create themselves. Some just speak or breathe on water. One god --presumed to be the one that created the god of the Bible, thought about herself as she looked in the water and --behold, she made a twin! - Talk about mental masterbation! - Love your blog -- Mom
Don't forget about deities getting their jiggly bits cut off and tossed into the sea only to have other deities materialize from the resulting foam . . .
I must point out that they were not married, and that was the reason. Also why they were talked about and gossiped about and why Joseph could have easily left her if he wanted. An angel may or may not have come to him in a dream telling him not to though.
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